KtKush

weed has been making me extremely depressed.

or angry and negative.

I feel like it starting to affect me pretty bad all the time.

When i first got with my boyfriend i wasn’t smoking as much but lately ive been smoking all day everyday and its fucking with my anxiety.

This week im leaving for texas so that gives me a head start and also a force on being sober.

Im going to try and smoke less weed and just say no.

Lets hope that actually works.

He sent a flash of red over my heart. For the first time he made it crack. It wasn’t something big but big enough to inflict on my emotions. It was just a question but one that shouldn’t had been asked. I got mad, i yelled and pushed him away. For some reason the tears wouldn’t come out of my eyes like i had expected but i could feel my nostrils flaring the louder i got. He apologized and said he was stupid and im the only girl he wants. I told him he lost my trust and he knows it hurt me. Now i can’t stop thinking of ways to make myself better for him. I don’t want to loose him and he said he doesn’t want to loose me. But we all know words are just air. I told him to prove it. and now im dying my hair and getting a new peircing. Because i think if im prettier he’ll never think of leaving me. 

I hate being a girl.

thinkingupsidedown:

I sadly came to the realization
That I’m not the girl that I wanna be
I’m not the girl guys want to be with
To stay with, the one they want
I’m just the girl guys want temporarily
So they can build my trust
And get in my pants and then tear out my heart…
Like it didn’t even matter
I’m not the girl I wish I was
I trust to easy, always too much
Only to be screwed and left
I’m nothing special.

if this ends i dont know wht ill do. im scared because i dont want this to be true

Things of things ive picked out to be the most important.

1. Make up - Foundation, Bronzer, Shadows, Eyeliner, Mascara, brow liners,blushes,make up brushes(sephora or mac gift card for foundations,ect/target or walmartgirftcards for liners,ect)LITERALLY OUT OF ALL MAKE UP(p.s also want good worth the money make up)
2. Extentions 24in or atleast 18in(real hair)
3. New jewlry for my piercings black or gold stud and hoop.
4. curling wand
5. New peircing
6. real rosery
7. new bra
8. To get my nails and eye brows done
9. sallys gift card